A few million years ago, some amino acids had been swirling around in the primordial oceans By means of (depending on your specific belief system) evolution or God’s Helping Hand, they slowly became extra complex, developed limbs and organs, learned how to breathe air and walk on dry land, and eventually developed into the self-conscious blobs of protoplasm that we refer to as ourselves This is a delightful turn of affairs for insurance salesmen, toothpaste manufacturers, and Bill Gates, simply because amino acids don’t purchase a large number of of their products Yet, it doesn’t take a lot imagination to see that neither God nor Charles Darwin had significantly of a background in product development Frankly, if human beings had been created and built by General Motors, they would have been recalled lengthy ago.

Let’s look at a few examples For 1 thing, we have two kidneys, but 1 will suffice very nicely And yet we have only 1 liver, and it has to struggle to procedure even a moderate quantity of liquor–say, a quart a day We have only 1 heart, and yet it is quickly damaged by every thing from fried pork rinds to emotional tension Our nostrils are so tiny that a few germs or chunks of pollen can trigger them to plug up with crusty wads of snot When that occurs, we should switch the breathing function over to our mouths, which are primarily suited for noise generation and food insertion.We are subject to all sorts of painful and hideous diseases, which doesn’t say significantly for our self-diagnostic and intruder rejection systems We also develop warts and moles, lose our teeth and hair, and get wrinkly and weak as we get old We can’t fly, can’t even outrun an alligator, and aren’t especially very good swimmers We can’t go longer than a few days with out water or a few minutes with out air And why the hell do men have nipples?It gets worse We’re inherently insane, which may perhaps be due to the reality that four-fifths of our brains sit around performing nothing all day As a result, we devote our lives to meaningless careers, marry men and women who believe we’re excess baggage on the train of life, and dismember every other just for the fun of it We look to leaders to tell us what to do and how to live, never noticing that these leaders are much more insane and perverted than we are, which is why they wanted to be leaders in the very first place We are completely confused about sex and define virtuous men and women as those who look and act like they never perform it And we are in total denial about our own mortality, preferring to believe that death can be derailed by bean sprouts and a Nordic Trak Obviously, we took a wrong turn somewhere.Two paths lie just before us The initial is to continue as we have for millions of years, relying on God’s Dubious Plan or, alternatively, the crap game of chance mutation and natural selection Or we can take matters into our own hands and whip up some genetic combinations that result in beings who truly deserve to live.Now, I’m not suggesting that we can produce perfection overnight We are, after all, beginning with a sow’s ear But we can incrementally enhance the gene pool with selective modifications If we make a few mistakes along the way, so what Numerous genetic mistakes are walking among us now–some of your own family members almost certainly come to mind Let’s begin modestly 1st, we can put most of the medical profession out of enterprise by improving our physical design Two hearts would be nice, and an industrial-strength immune system that kills off every thing from head lice to herpes And just for amusement, we could present all future women with ideal breasts and cellulite-totally free thighs, and give all men 12-inch, bone-buttressed genitalia, plus gonads that recycle in 3 minutes (roughly the time it takes to drink a beer) That alone would maintain us occupied by means of the extended lifespan that we have produced.Later on, we can tap into the idle parts of the brain, thereby phasing out gross stupidity and overt insanity True, this is likely to eliminate such colorful characters as axe murderers, politicians, and televangelists, but that appears like a little price to pay On the positive side, we may possibly see USPS workers who do not crack under the pressure of so a large number of Zip codes, Wendy’s employees who can put the proper stuff in a bag, and IRS accountants joining monasteries to atone for their sins.Finally, we could aim for specialization: eight-ounce human spiders for space travel, waiters with multiple arms, gill-equipped people today for undersea exploration, winged messengers, and coal miners with difficult shells and claws The possibilities are limitless In 10,000 years, people today may possibly look back on this age as the true dawn of the human race–the threshold when we threw off our ape-like existence and leaped into the multiplicity of forms that we had been destined to turn into.To get started, we will need to open a few genetic manipulation clinics where young and fertile folks can specify what qualities their offspring really should possess If, like yours genuinely, you are beyond the prime child-bearing years, you can basically donate your youngsters to the Bugbaum Union for Genetic Selection (BUGS), c/o Stationmaster, Greyhound Lines, Upiers, NJ (Please contain a monetary donation in case they get hungry.) We will take care of the rest Soon, you will be the grandparent of a person who, with a bit of luck, isn’t anything like you!As we all know, once a new technology comes into being, it is just a matter of time prior to it gains widespread acceptance We ought to accept this 1 with open arms–all six of them .